Pirates for Christmas

November 27, 2006 at 7:13 pm 15 comments

‘Tis the season for present buying, searching for extremely rare parking spaces at the mall, and being smashed in the middle of a human mob at various check-out lines. ‘Tis also the season for present receiving, and there are a few items on my wish list. This list includes, but is not limited to, jewelry, a new robe, and the Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest DVD. I have to say that Johnny Depp’s lack of abdominal six-packedness does not prevent me from thinking of him as a hunk-o-manflesh.

johnny depp
Nothing wrong with Orlando Bloom, either.

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Entry filed under: celebrities.

Times Square has “Royal Restrooms” Time to look at the want ads

15 Comments Add your own

  • 1. composmentis  |  November 28, 2006 at 9:44 am

    The man is wearing more makeup than a test bunny at Mary Kay. And Orlando couldn’t sport a full goatee unless he was going down on Rosanne Barr. : )

    I know, I know. They’re pirates Bad boys always getting themselves into and out of trouble.

    You’re a naughty minx.

    Reply
  • 2. kevlarchick  |  November 28, 2006 at 1:06 pm

    Silence, compos! Jack Sparrow could out maneuver you any day.

    Reply
  • 3. HayZeus  |  November 28, 2006 at 5:14 pm

    The man is wearing more makeup than a test bunny at Mary Kay. And Orlando couldn’t sport a full goatee unless he was going down on Rosanne Barr. : )

    I know, I know. They’re pirates Bad boys always getting themselves into and out of trouble.

    You’re a naughty minx.

    Quick on the uptake, aren’t we? 😉 😛

    Reply
  • 4. Elzbth  |  November 28, 2006 at 7:57 pm

    The man is wearing more makeup than a test bunny at Mary Kay.

    Look at that! He can wear more eye makeup than Pamela Anderson, and he’s still hot!

    Reply
  • 5. Hugh Jackman  |  November 28, 2006 at 10:22 pm

    What is it about makeup and gypsy outfits that makes the girls swoon?

    Reply
  • 6. composmentis  |  November 29, 2006 at 7:44 am

    That’s it. Tonight, when I get home, I’m drinking a fifth of rum, mounting a steering wheel on the kitchen table, and donning my paper Long John Silvers pirate hat. I’ll be positively irresistable when I wink at my wife, reach across the table and grab a handful of boob.

    No doubt she’ll be so turned on that I’ll make my kds walk the plank so I can quench her lust for hot pirate sex right on the table, er, I mean ship.

    Reply
  • 7. HayZeus  |  November 29, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    What is it about makeup and gypsy outfits that makes the girls swoon?

    Probably some sick Duran Duran fetish carried over from pre-adolescence or adolescence. 😉

    Reply
  • 8. Elzbth  |  November 29, 2006 at 6:38 pm

    Compos, let me know how that works out for you.

    HayZeus, you sounds bitter, my friend. Let me assure you that Johnny Depp can never compete with a former gigolo who has a Mooninite fetish.

    Reply
  • 9. The Mayor  |  November 29, 2006 at 7:56 pm

    Johnny Depp has feelings, you know. He’s not just some eye-candy for you to oggle, or oogle, or whatever you’re doing to him.

    I’m upset, I might even be shedding a tear. Which can only mean one thing: an angel has lost their wings.

    Thx, angel murderer.

    Reply
  • 10. HayZeus  |  November 29, 2006 at 9:17 pm

    HayZeus, you sounds bitter, my friend. Let me assure you that Johnny Depp can never compete with a former gigolo who has a Mooninite fetish.

    Of course he can’t compete. My God is an indian who turns into a wolf! Now bow your heads or I’ll bow ’em for ya! 😀

    Reply
  • 11. Elzbth  |  November 30, 2006 at 5:04 pm

    Don’t get too cocky, HZ. You know what they do to nerds on the moon, and I have my moon rocks right here.

    And Mayor, all I have to say is, “Ha! Tough talk from a man who uses a magnifying glass to examine pictures of nearly naked female contortionists.”

    Reply
  • 12. HayZeus  |  November 30, 2006 at 6:10 pm

    Don’t get too cocky, HZ. You know what they do to nerds on the moon, and I have my moon rocks right here.

    Sounds like someone’s got next week’s session all planned out already! 😛

    Reply
  • 13. Elzbth  |  November 30, 2006 at 7:58 pm

    Not really. I have been cleaning out a back closet and I have…let’s see…an old fondue pot, a shedding strand of gold garland, a straw hat with a fold on the brim, an attachment hose to a long deceased vacuum cleaner, and some metal thingy, I’m not really sure what it is. And in the refrigerator…*walks to kitchen to take a gander*…some whipping cream near the expiration date , some tuna salad, and half a jar of lemon curd.

    Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: Think of something.

    Reply
  • 14. HayZeus  |  November 30, 2006 at 9:18 pm

    What I wouldn’t give for a holocaust cloak…

    Reply
  • 15. Elzbth  |  November 30, 2006 at 10:18 pm

    Kinky

    Reply

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