Monopoly now has Starbucks and McDonalds

September 13, 2006 at 6:28 pm 18 comments

The last time I played Monopoly, I vowed it would be the last time that I played Monopoly.  I spent the last hour and a half of that game drinking Mai Tais and desperately trying to go bankrupt so that I could escape.

Ah, memories.

Anyway, Hasbro is releasing its newest version of this time-honored waste of time, the new “Here and Now” U.S. edition, tomorrow. They have replaced Boardwalk with Times Square, added Starbucks and McDonalds, and changed the players’ pieces. Anyone suckered into playing the game will be using a Toyota Prius car, a Motorola’s RAZR mobile handset, or a New Balance running shoe.

Color me bored.  I don’t care.  They could replace the little dog with a small statue of Hugh Jackman, shirtless, and I still wouldn’t play.  At least, not without a pitcher of Mai Tais and the actual presence of the real Hugh Jackman.

No, Monopoly doesn’t interest me. The only thing about this story that caught my interest was the immediate leap into action by the Nanny Brigade. Braying and hooting, they denounced Hasbro for “toying with the health of our children” by exposing them to outlets that sell fast food and caffeine.???

Perhaps they have a point.  Hasbro is playing fast and loose with the health of the next generation by acknowledging the existence of McDonald’s and Starbucks.  The fact that they are situated in every strip mall and on nearly every street corner is beside the point.

Fruit Loops.  Actually, I think I just reacted grumpily because I hate that game.

New Monopoly causes lack of health

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Entry filed under: news.

Pure Evil Well, I Did It Again

18 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Shirley  |  September 13, 2006 at 6:30 pm

    I too, don’t like Monopoly…too boring!

    Reply
  • 2. Elzbth  |  September 13, 2006 at 6:33 pm

    I don’t think of it as simply too boring. I think of it as cruel and unusual punishment.

    Reply
  • 3. HayZeus  |  September 13, 2006 at 7:00 pm

    Monopoly sucks but I can definitely see how Mai Tais would make the game much more bearable. 😀

    Reply
  • 4. Elzbth  |  September 13, 2006 at 7:19 pm

    Mai Tais have a miraculous effect. A sufficient number of Mai Tais could bring about world peace, end poverty, and cure the common cold. But even Mai Tais can’t beat Monopoly.

    Reply
  • 5. HayZeus  |  September 13, 2006 at 8:08 pm

    Yes they do! They also go great with most chinese food. 😉

    Reply
  • 6. Elzbth  |  September 13, 2006 at 8:43 pm

    They even go great without Chinese food.

    Reply
  • 7. HayZeus  |  September 13, 2006 at 8:45 pm

    Heh, maybe I should have said that chinese food goes great with Mai Tais. 😀

    Reply
  • 8. Elzbth  |  September 13, 2006 at 8:52 pm

    Once, a friend and I each drank two Mai Tais before going to see The Grudge. We hadn’t been paying attention to the time before going into the theater, and we suddenly noticed we had to leave in ten minutes. We each had a nearly full Mai Tai sitting in front of us. So we guzzled them down. I don’t remember very much about the movie, but I do remember laughing a great deal. Mai Tais even made The Grudge funny.

    Reply
  • 9. Elzbth  |  September 13, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    I just re-read that, and I sound like a lush. Which I am not. If I was, I would do a better job of holding my liquor.

    Reply
  • 10. HayZeus  |  September 13, 2006 at 9:36 pm

    Laughing at horror movies-isn’t that the way it should be? 😉

    Sounds like a fun time!

    Reply
  • 11. Elzbth  |  September 13, 2006 at 10:03 pm

    Yes, I may have made a spectacle of myself, but only in front of strangers. Luckily the theater was nearly empty. I doubt any of them could have identified me in a line-up afterwards. I suppose we all do that at some point.

    Right?

    Right?

    Reply
  • 12. HayZeus  |  September 14, 2006 at 6:57 am

    Of course we do, dear! 😉

    Reply
  • 13. Elzbth  |  September 14, 2006 at 3:49 pm

    I am impresed by your ability to use italics to sound completely patronizing. 🙂
    Now it’s your turn to share.

    Reply
  • 14. HayZeus  |  September 14, 2006 at 9:01 pm

    It’s a curse I tell ya! 😉

    As for sharing, well, you’ve seen the lampshade on my head, right? 😀

    In all seriousness I don’t have any great stories to tell but on my 28th birthday my ex-roomie, his wife and I all went for chinese and pounded down some Mai Tais and generally had a good time. Well they knew the waitress that was serving us and when she brought out our cheesecake for dessert she brought us each these gargantuan shots of peach schnapps. Since we were already good and toasty before the schnapps we were pretty trashed walking out of the restaurant. I remember using all of my concentration to walk in a relatively straight line out the door but I don’t remember the shopping errands that his wife had to do after that well at all. At any rate, he and I were having a hard time not laughing at everything in the stores (the faces he made in the feminine hygiene aisle seemed hysterical) and I’m sure we seemed obnoxiously drunk to anyone paying attention. They were probably right. 😉

    So does that story qualify?

    Reply
  • 15. Elzbth  |  September 14, 2006 at 9:31 pm

    The Mai Tais just made you happy. It was the Peach Schnapps that actually pulled you and your ex-roomie into the feminine products aisle. Usually that aisle is completely devoid of human beings who contain testosterone, which I understand is an illegal substance.

    Reply
  • 16. HayZeus  |  September 14, 2006 at 11:11 pm

    And here I thought it was because it was on the way to the vitamins! 😉

    Reply
  • 17. Elzbth  |  September 15, 2006 at 11:51 pm

    Your story is better than mine. You were out in the bright light of a public shopping place in your hometown. I was in the dark of the theater where no one could see me.

    Does Peach Schnapps make you crave multivitamins?

    Reply
  • 18. HayZeus  |  September 16, 2006 at 7:13 am

    No, my friend’s wife needed them. We were in his town though, not mine.

    Reply

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