Crime Fighting Grandpa Clobbers Grocery Store Gunman

July 19, 2006 at 1:20 pm 3 comments

 The story you are about to read is true; the names have not been changed to protect the innocent.

“This is the city:  Philadelphia, PA.  I work here.  I carry a can of applesauce.” *cue music*

A city the size of Philadelphia has millions of stories.  This is the story of Thomas Santana, 66 year old, 5’4″  resident of East Germantown, grocery shopper.

12:15 p.m.: Mr. Santana was perusing products in the local grocery store when Thomas Reyes, 23, 190 pounds, armed, walked into the store, locked the door, jumped on top of a small freezer next to the cash register, and pointed his gun at the store owner.

Read the story here

The story you’ve just read is true. The names were not changed to protect anybody. Thomas Reyes is in stable condition at the local hospital.  He has been charged with. . .oh. . .lots of things.

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Entry filed under: news.

A Tale of Underwear and Eggs Now That Takes Cheek

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. digitalbrownshirt  |  July 20, 2006 at 8:08 pm

    He got off lucky. A guy killed a drug crazed home invader here in Oklahoma City with a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. He was making lunch for his niece and nephew when idiot came barging through the door. The uncle had to make a quick decision with the kids there and killed the guy with the can. He felt pretty bad about it later on.

    I think it was the extra large can.

    Mmmm, stew. 🙂

    Reply
  • 2. elzbth  |  July 20, 2006 at 8:45 pm

    I wonder if Dinty Moore and Motts Applesauce will begin using these stories for commercials. Tastes yummy and fends off criminals, too!

    Reply
  • 3. MikeT  |  July 26, 2006 at 8:48 am

    It’s a real eye-opener when you see a middle aged woman who has trained in a serious karata-derivative for over a decade take down a grown man. People shouldn’t take it for granted that they can take someone down like that. Sometimes the last people you suspect can be the ones best able to kick your ass.

    Reply

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