Happy Birthday Enas Yorl

Yes, it’s Enas’s birthday. Stop by and cheer him up wish him a happy birthday!
Gee, I hope there are enough candles.

Is the world really once again safe for humanity? Or is this only the beginning?

Rampaging Rabbit attacks elderly couple and Austrian policemen!

The Austrian policemen were forced to shoot to kill after the vicious, terrifying, blood-crazed bunny “turned on the officers who answered the call.” I blame television. .. and global warming… and Bush. Clearly rabbits now believe that they have exhausted all attempts at legitimate political change and have no other option to bring recognition to their cause and change to the society in which they live. I, for one, welcome our cute and fluffy overlords.

You know, they always have been smarter than us.

American Idol Loser Song

Ah, the Sanjaya debacle debate. I think he adds entertainment value to the dreariest American Idol season ever. There are some who have actually become emotional (and not in a good way) because this teeny-bopper bait remains a contestant. I say, let’s keep things in perspective.

Urp!

I suffer from from seasickness. Not always, you know. Only when I am on the sea. Once, when I was an idiot teenager, I decided I could Dramamine my way through a cruise to Hawaii. The rest of the family was excited to take to an ocean trip, however my mother suggested I fly out a few days later and meet them. But did I listen? Noooo. I decided that the cruise would be more fun then spending four days with my grandparents, and, hey, Dramamine had always been at least moderately successful in a car or on a plane. So I took my Dramamine an hour before I walked up the gangplank.

I began to hurl before the boat left the harbor. For most of that day I lay on a deck chair, feeling horrible. No, I felt beyond horrible. I did not join the others for dinner in the dining room. I still couldn’t completely escape the smell or sight of food, however. The people on the ship would place food here, there, and everywhere! It was revolting.

When I had to enter my room that night, my stomach objected even more strenuously. It violently ejected every ounce of food it had ever contained. My body looked about for something else to eject, found some bile, and then gave in to the dry heaves. The next morning my mother decided I should visit the ship’s doctor. He gave me a glass of water, and I took a sip. The sip went down, then it came right back up, still cool and clear. So he pulled out a hypodermic needle and told me to drop my drawers (he may have phrased it differently). Afterward, he handed me a package of suppositories. Ah, memories. Oddly enough, that was my last sea voyage.

The memories of that cruise were gathering dust and cobwebs deep in the recesses of my mind until today, when I visited the Mayor of Mitchieville. You can visit by clicking here. Fair Warning: You might want to take a Dramamine first.

Anyone can run for president

And that includes Jonathon ‘The Impaler’ Sharkey, who is the registered candidate for the Satanic Vampire ticket (party?). I am unfamiliar with all of his campaign promises, but he has pledged that, if elected, one of his first acts will be to impale George W. Bush. I am not the only one to think this would be an odd choice for a self-proclaimed vampire. “I guess the question is, if he’s a vampire, why is he the one staking people? Shouldn’t he want to bite the president and feed on him?” asked Law Professor Neil Richards, of Washington University in St. Louis.

Sharkey, who ran for president in 2004 and has run for Congress, oh, many, many times, has failed to win an election yet. Go figure. Nonetheless, his pledge did attract some slight attention from the Secret Service, which was obligated to investigate. As a potential future president, “The Impaler” was disturbed by their lack of thoroughness. “They didn’t even ask to see my impaling stick,” he complained.

Maybe they just weren’t taking him seriously.

Vampire/Impaler for President

Dave in Texas Reminisces

Dave in Texas fondly remembers the time that he and some buddies went rattlesnake hunting in the great outdoors, brave lads armed with nothing but high hopes and kerosene. Read about it here.

His story reminded me of the time one of my cats killed a scorpion in the living room. I had not witnessed the epic battle, so when I entered the room and noticed a scorpion standing on the carpet near the fireplace I did not know the nasty thing was already dead. I took the opportunity to screech like a girl. Then I swatted it a few times with a broom. Its failure to object to either of these activities indicated that it had already gone to the big scorpion pit in the sky. So I used salad tongs to pick it up and drop it in the garbage can in the kitchen, which I then put outside. No sense in taking any chances.

Party-Pooper Scientists Say No Time Travel for You!

Unless you can harness the energy of a star and have no objection to being “spaghettified”.

Video here
Time travel and You

It’s Brewfan’s Birthday

Stop by and say hello.

The ultimate man’s machine

Last year John Cornwell graduated from Duke and took a job as a software engineer. But real life failed to satisfy John. He missed “the college scene…the college spirit.” So he invented some college spirit. His quest took only 150 hours and $400.
Refrigerator will toss you a can of beer while you are sitting on the couch

If he would only invent a sammich creating-and-delivering machine, men everywhere could relax on their couches and be truly happy.

How to settle community property issues

man uses chainsaw, splits house with ex-wife

“You take your half, I’ll take mine!”

Dagnabbit

Well, my alternator died and I made it home on my battery. I guess I know what I will be doing tomorrow. Consarn it. !@#$%^&*()#@

Laugh Along with Living Scenery

I’ll be honest with you – it’s old! But it’s still funny.

World’s Biggest Burger

And 80 pound hamburger patty, a 30 pound bun, and up to five onions.

Do you want an apple pie with that?
Going for the Guinness World Record

Gollum and Smeagel Duet

For all of you “Grease” and “Lord of the Ring Fans” out there.