Posts filed under 'Uncategorized'
Ask HayZeus
Are you searching for the definitive answer to a serious and important question? Tough Gee, that’s too bad. But if you are looking from some kind of answer to any old question, be sure to go here. It’s Ask HayZeus Friday (or Saturday)!
5 comments January 19, 2007
Living in the Lap of Luxury
The up-and-coming up-and-comer truly needs a solid gold bathroom. You can get one from the 3-D Gold Store in Hong Kong for only $4.9 million dollars.
So break open the piggy-bank and start searching beneath the couch cushions, and soon you will experience the cool, smooth sensation of solid gold beneath your thighs as you answer the call of nature. Who could ask for anything more?
Well, you could ask for the gold toilet plunger.
5 comments August 22, 2006
The Birds!
I remember that old movie by Alfred Hitchcock in which birds take their vengeance against mankind, or at least the mankind located in a sleepy coastal California town.
Well, the birds are at it again!
4 comments August 18, 2006
Remember the twinkie defense?
Well, here is the nicotine excuse.
They weren’t allowed to make phone calls from the deliberation room either. Could cell phone withdrawal also be a reason for their judgement? Or could it be…oh, I don’t know…the competence level of the defense lawyers?
h/t to Dave’s Daily
Add comment August 7, 2006
This is the world’s biggest wedding dress (so far)
The giant wedding dress award goes to Josephine Doherty.
Apparently there is a “ginormous wedding dress” contest taking place.
It all began when British model Jordan decided to wear a record breaking, gigantic wedding dress with the world’s longest train – 900 metres. About six weeks ago, Miss Carly O’Brien wore a dress that broke Jordan’s record. Her wedding gown, which cost £25,000, had 30 layers of tulle, 3,000 Swarovski crystals, and a 60 foot long train. It measured 8 feet wide, and weighed 25 stone (350 lbs.). It took 9 1/2 hours to get her into the dress, and an hour and a half for the wedding guests to push and pull her up the aisle. She was the new winner!
On August 3, 2006, her record was broken by Miss Josephine Doherty (now Mrs. Delaney) , in Tolworth, Surrey. Her wedding dress, which also cost £25,000 ($47,260.17), weighed 28 stone (392 pounds). However, it only took 2 hours to place her inside of the dress (as opposed to 9 hours for Miss O’Brien). Eight best men and five bridesmaids were required to carry the 60ft train, and it took 30 minutes to shove her and her dress into the requisite “Cinderella-style” horse drawn carriage (also used by Jordan and Miss O’Brien, now Mrs. Coffey). So the new Mrs. Delaney is the winner of the Ginormous Wedding Dress Contest - thus far.
The next winner will have to be lifted and deposited in the chapel with a crane.
31 comments August 4, 2006
Why waste the heat?
Frying eggs on the sidewalk is so old fashioned. This woman found a much better way to use the heat.
Add comment August 3, 2006
Is Anybody Surprised?
Disney Cancels Mel Gibson Holocaust Series
Mel behaved like a drunken idiot, and said things which are indefensible. To keep things in perspective, however, he has publicly apologized (apology here). That is certainly more than most celebrities have done after behaving idiotically.
5 comments August 1, 2006
Joke I have received in 5 different e-mails in the past 3 days
I’ll bet it’s old. Now stop sending it to me!
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, And they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!” With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” Little Mary’s mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?” Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued, “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind; two, you didn’t read your homework; and three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed”
Update: I just checked and I only received this joke 4 times in as many days. I guess it just seemed like 5 times in 3 days.
Add comment July 31, 2006
Most Prestigious Jobs in America
According to the latest Harris poll, Americans view firefighters (63%) and doctors (58%) as having the most prestigious occupations.
At the other end of the scale, we find actors, union leaders, and journalists tied at 12%.
So what do you think of that?
5 comments July 30, 2006
Mel says he sorry
Mel Gibson has apologized for acting like a drunken jerk and making “despicable” (anti-semitic) comments to the arresting police officers (including the one to whom he remarked, “Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?”)
2 comments July 30, 2006
Now That Takes Cheek
Global News Alert: Germany
Police in the Bavarian city of Ingolstadt were stunned when a thief they had just released from custody stole an officer’s bicycle on his way out and rode off on it, authorities said on Thursday.
“They could scarcely believe his cheek,” said a spokesman for Ingolstadt police. “It’s almost impossible to beat.”
Thief robs German police on release from custody – Yahoo! News
Add comment July 21, 2006
Star Trek Fan Creates a Maize Maze
British Star Trek fan Tom Pearcy has boldly gone where no farmer has gone before.
It’s a maze, Jim, but not as we know it
Add comment July 14, 2006
He’s an American Now
Michael Meyn of Misunderestimated Germans has completed the citizenship process and taken his oath of allegience. Stop by and say congratulations!
P.S. He has a great video. 
2 comments July 9, 2006
